Cochlear implant recipient JOHN ROSS is president of CICADA Queensland and a Soundfair ambassador. He relays his hearing loss and cochlear implant journey, and for Tinnitus Awareness Week 2025, shares his story of living with chronic tinnitus and recruitment. DR EMMA LAIRD also relays her battle and how she manages hearing high pitched screeching 24/7.
Imagine a noise being so painful it feels like someone is stabbing you in the back of your neck, and then you black out. That’s what Mr John Ross has experienced several times when his tinnitus and recruitment were at their worst.
The conditions sent Ross to a dark place where he attempted suicide but fortunately with love, support and treatment he has come out the other side and is now helping others.
Ross has a lot to live for and much to do. He is on a mission to give back to the community; whether that be advocating for better support and awareness for people with hearing loss and tinnitus including through Soundfair or helping those seeking cochlear implants through CICADA Queensland hearing implant support group, Ross has a lot to give.
The sound engineer started working at a young age and progressed to working large venues with various sound systems coordinating multiple crews for concerts.
“My hearing loss journey started in the early 1990s while I was still working as a sound engineer at large concerts and events. I couldn’t hear high frequencies, and I was wearing hearing aids by 2003,” he recalls.
While audiograms indicated industrial deafness, Ross says he always wore excellent hearing protection, and believes an accident in his teenage years may have caused or at least contributed to bilateral sensorineural hearing loss.
“While scuba diving in the Philippines, there was a blast nearby involving dynamite fishing,” he recalls. “I was at a river mouth, and I remember being disorientated and feeling pain or something weird in my head. When I came up, there was blood coming out of my ears.
“Some ENTs have said it’s possible that I have a neurological, nerve type damage from that incident which over the years continued to worsen.”
Ross believes his tinnitus began around the same time as his hearing loss started. “I knew my hearing was fine because I was hearing 16k frequencies in audio that my peers wished they could. Then suddenly, I remember thinking, ‘What’s that noise in the back of my head?”
The mental health journey that has accompanied his tinnitus has been as bad as the affliction itself.
“My tinnitus has severely impacted my ability to concentrate, focus, and function at times,” he says. “It can be debilitating. I also live with recruitment, an auditory condition where sounds become disproportionately louder as the volume increases.”
Knocked out by recruitment pain
Recruitment can result from hearing loss caused by damage to the cochlea. A short and sudden sound such as an alarm can cause pain.
“It hurts in my head, not my ear, and it feels like being stabbed in the back of the neck with a knife, that’s the only way I can describe it.
“It can physically knock me out. One day in Bunnings, a fire alarm went off. There was an excruciating, white flash of pain, and the next thing I remember staff, people and customers were leaning over me, trying to wake me up and shake me to find out what was going on,” Ross recalls.
“Recently post-cochlear implant I was at a disability expo on a cochlear implant information stand when a fire alarm again went off. They evacuated the building, and I was sitting outside under a tree with tears streaming down my face from the pain.
“Only one person who recognised me came and asked if I was ok. I was surrounded by 100 people at an event to support people with a disability, yet everybody was watching and nobody wanted to know or understand what just happened to me.”
This is part of his mission to spread awareness and understanding about hearing loss and the often invisible disabilities it can be associated with.
“With tinnitus, extra loud noises can cause pain,” he says. “Loud noises can still affect you, even if you’re deaf. There are some types of tinnitus for some people with high frequency deafness, where their brain says that because they aren’t listening to those frequencies anymore it puts them back and gives those high frequencies all at once, non-stop, 24/7 for the rest of their life.”
Ross says some people in this situation have hearing implants which restore the frequencies. “For many these implants provide an amazing result for their tinnitus, because the brain says, “You can hear those frequencies, I don’t have to make those noises anymore.”
A cochlear implant in his right ear and a hearing aid in his left have helped his tinnitus and recruitment. “But I haven’t been able to afford a second cochlear implant yet,” Ross adds. “This is another thing I’m advocating for. In some Australian states, the state will fund two cochlear implants for public patients whereas in Queensland, public patients are only entitled to one which is frustrating.
“You can pay up to $50,000 privately for a second implant in Queensland but you cannot have a second public implant. This is still cheaper than the $300,000 you see some paying on international forums.”
Ross hears a difference between right and left ears for his tinnitus. “Based on stress and fatigue, I can hear the tinnitus levels going up and down, and it’s worse in the ear that doesn’t have the cochlear implant.”
He tries to limit the amount of listening he does in a day. If there are two long video calls, by the time he hangs up, his head is “screaming.”
“I need a quiet place to rest, but there’s no quiet place because my head is already screaming. That’s where it gets hard. For me, a quiet place is about reducing the sensory input my body is taking in—that’s my definition of quiet.”
Years ago, Ross was told by two audiology clinics that nothing could be done to help him and in one instance, he had a recruitment episode during a sound test. “I jumped up in the chair. I had tears in my eyes. It hurt so much,” he says. Ross claims he was asked to leave as the staff did not know what was wrong with him, devastating his wife who was in the room.
At his lowest, he attempted suicide. “My wife Donna caught me (attempting suicide) because of the tinnitus, my health, the hearing loss. I’d lost my profession, my income and my sense of self,” he recalls.
“I tried to commit suicide three times, and in all cases, something or someone stopped me. Most recently, my wife and GP insisted I see a psychologist.”
Audiologist helped save his life
Fortunately, the psychologist said they knew of an excellent audiologist and referred him to Dr Tegan Keogh from the Sunshine Coast who he credits with helping to save his life.
“I left her clinic that day with hearing aids as she believed I was eligible for a cochlear implant and told me the hearing aids would start stimulating my auditory system,” he recalls. “I’d not done that for years as I’d been told there was no point. Dr Keogh put me on that journey in early 2018 and in 2020, after COVID postponed it, I had a cochlear implant.”
Evidence indicates that those whose auditory system goes a long time without stimulation have more difficult rehabilitation post-cochlear implant surgery, he adds.
“Dr Keogh gave me hope that something could be done to change everything,” Ross says. “Benefits of my implant include improved hearing and speech recognition, with 100 per cent word recognition four years post implant.”
Since receiving his cochlear implant, his quality of life has improved significantly. He has not experienced any blackout incidents from recruitment, and while the tinnitus in his implanted ear has not disappeared, there is now more positive variation.
“Your physical and mental state, and your environment, can strongly affect and trigger your tinnitus,” Ross adds. “They’re all major triggers, and it’s not easy, but in recognising tinnitus and people with it, helping them control those areas and realising when somebody is done, those are the areas where you can probably find the most comfort or relief in a short period.”
Ross also serves on a Macquarie University committee to establish a national hearing loss website and attended a MED-EL Advocates summit in Austria in 2024.
He is also an author and public speaker and is often joined by his wife who adds insights on partner and family support. At The Audiology Australia 2025 Conference he will discuss his upcoming book, Breeding a Deaf Generation, which focuses on noise-induced hearing loss and the evolution of music reproduction from the 1970s to today.
“We’re breeding a deaf generation because we’re now capable of producing and listening to frequencies and earth-shattering levels of music,” he says. “In the 1970s, we were looking at one in 10 people with a hearing loss but now it’s one in five, and the prediction is that by 2030 it’ll be one in four; if we don’t make changes by 2050, it could be as high as one in two – that’s how rapidly hearing loss is being destroyed in the human race.”
Ross has documented his experience and provides guidance and support when choosing a cochlear implant through his YouTube vlog, My Cochlear Journey. He’s also undertaken Soundfair’s tinnitus masterclass for audiologists.
“While some of it went over my head it was insane how much I got and also it’s nice to see the level of understanding, passion and effort that goes into trying to resolve issues for tinnitus patients,” he adds. “It’s always about the light at the end of tunnel.”
High pitched screeching 24/7
Everyone’s tinnitus story is different and unique. Melbourne woman Dr Emma Laird pursued an audiology career in part due to her own tinnitus.
“It was a big factor in choosing audiology,” she says. “It’s a strange phenomenon that something you love so much – music – can turn into such a horrible experience for so long.
“My tinnitus is probably reflective of many people because when I was younger, I went to many concerts, gigs and live music shows but I was unaware of the damage this could cause to my ears.
“I was fortunate there was no hearing loss, but it did develop into tinnitus, which lasts 24/7 and I’ve had for 20-plus years. It’s a high-pitched overlay of multiple screeching tones, kind of squealing which is there all the time.
“Fortunately, I’ve gone through habituation, where my brain’s gotten used to the tinnitus, which is fantastic. I did this myself and it took a few years to get to the point where I was able to tune that out, but it was never to the point where some other people who I’ve spoken to have been.
“While it caused a bit of anxiety and worry, and thinking am I ever going to be silent again, I never got to that point where I would catastrophise and get really down.”
Dr Laird says having the condition helped while studying it at university, and counselling patients. It made her more empathetic, knowledgeable, and relatable. “It’s kind of a camaraderie I instantly build with a client when I say my tinnitus is 24/7; that shared experience is powerful,” she says. “It helps that there’s techniques I’ve put in place that I can say, ‘these things worked for me, let’s give them a try.’”
Habituation means if she is not thinking about the noise, she can’t hear it. “As soon as I bring the sound to my attention, I can tune in and hear it,” she adds. “Occasionally, if stressed and in bed at night, then it’ll be extremely loud and can be a nuisance but day to day, hearing the sound, it doesn’t trigger any sort of negative emotion or anxiety response, and that’s why it can so easily go into the background, because it’s not a negative response to it.
“That’s where we aim to get clients, to the acceptance where it may never go away, but to the point where they’re not listening to it.”
Dr Laird, a former Soundfair project and program manager, is now a La Trobe University audiology lecturer. She helped create Soundfair’s Find a Tinnitus Professional directory.
*If this story has brought up issues for you, you can call Lifeline’s 24/7 Crisis Support on 13 11 14 or text 24/7 to 0477 13 11 14. Beyond Blue Support Service is free and available 24/7 365 days a year: Deaf community assistance, connect to the National Relay Service and ask to be put through to Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. Call TTY 1800 555 677 and ask for 1300 22 4636. Chat to a counsellor online at beyondblue.org.au/get-support.
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